okay i’ve done a voiceover for accessibility reasons but just so you guys know i hated doing it!!!! why is it so embarrassing to read your own writing out loud!!!!!!!! plus i’m honestly a bad actress. yikes dot edu.
anyways, here’s some boys in love.
ps. i have a new song coming out! pre-save it here!
among us
“H...aha,” AC manages, once PK has pulled away from him, turning back to look at the TV to hide his facial expression. something in his chest feels tight. something in his chest is making his hands shake. he doesn’t know what — he doesn’t know why the fuck he did that. he’s been good, he thinks. he’s been really ... PK has had a lot of guys who were interested, and a lot of them who were interested but not enough to fuck up their lives, not enough to do anything about it. he told himself, he always told himself, he wasn’t going to be the one who took the first step, with those guys. he wasn’t going to keep throwing himself down on the altar of being anybody’s first, and so far, he’s been good. he’s been really good.
but AC is ...
he’s AC.
he’s — PK hasn’t met anyone like AC before. not because he’s the most original person in the world, he likes the same shit that all of them like, he’s — honestly, he’s fairly basic as far as frat boys go, but there’s something threaded through it that makes all his sweetness seem sweeter, all his hotness seem hotter, his strength seem stronger. PK doesn’t know. he just wants to sit next to him all the time. have their shoulders brush.
and he — he looks. AC looks at PK all the time. he never stops. he’s always gravitating over, always standing too close, it makes PK feel like he’s going to vibrate out of his skin. he’s been good, he’s kept things friendly, but something about the slump of AC’s shoulders, the sour note in his voice hearing about some nobody PK kissed once, the thing in his chest had snapped. you could kiss me too, the thing had said. had wanted AC to know.
they sit in quiet, not exactly awkward, not exactly not.
“maybe it’s, maybe you gotta be with the right person, for it to be good,” AC says, and when PK cranes his neck to look at him, he’s staring hard at his screen.
PK is smart enough to know that AC is trying to say something, but he is not smart enough to know what it is. he ventures, “you mean because ... it was with MJ?”
“yeah,” AC says. “wouldn’t have worked with gwen.” he hesitates, then adds, “was it — uh, before. was it different, with that guy.”
PK looks away again, to hide the way he can feel his cheeks getting hot. AC is so much. he’s always so much, and right at the surface. he doesn’t know how to hide anything, doesn’t know how not to be exactly who he is.
without looking at him, PK shrugs. “yeah, i guess so.”
“was i better?”
PK closes his eyes. he doesn’t know if AC knows what he wants from PK, but he thinks they both know that AC wants something. knows that whoever it is AC wants to be to PK, it isn’t gwen stacy.
he bumps his shoulder against AC’s knee. “play the fucking game,” he says.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to the chilliad to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.