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and now for something completely different!

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mollyhall
May 02, 2022
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INTERVIEW WITH SAFFRON KLASMA
AC=Officer Anne Carson 
MB=Officer Mary Barnard
SK=Saffron Klasma

SK: I mean, the funny thing is that they didn’t even stay that long. At Penny’s, I mean. 

MB: But you said she was very welcoming.

SK: Of course she was welcoming. Odis was there.

MB: And she ... wanted him to be involved? 

SK: Mm. I think so.

AC: But why? Is she in a sorority?

SK: Ha! No. Penny’s not really the sorority girl type. She rows crew. She’s in the fast Four with Andie, Cuba, and Nessa. 

AC: They call themselves the Fast Four? Is that like the Pink Ladies?

SK: You mean, like. From Grease?

AC: What, do kids not watch Grease anymore?

SK: Not ... really. I mean, I get the reference? But no. The four is a boat. There are four people in it, and they’re the fastest boat on the team. Hence, fast four. But I guess, to be fair, yeah. They’re also sort of like the Pink Ladies. If that helps shape your narrative.

MB: So - if not for her sorority, why did your friend Penny want her boyfriend to get involved in the prank war?

SK: Well, they’ve been dating a long time. A really long time. Years and years. Rumor has it he’s going to propose.

AC: Ah.

MB: Ah.

SK: Yeah. 

AC: I assume she didn’t want to just break up.

SK: No! Never that. Penny loves Odis. But. Marriage ... it’s [unintelligible]. 

Per MB:

SK: Marriage ... it’s easy street, for men, if they get a good wife. Surely you know this. As soon as a woman becomes a wife, it’s different, it’s like everyone expects you to just put your girlhood away. To put yourself away. 

AC: And she thinks it’ll be like that for her?

SK: I think she sees herself as a person, not a wife.

Per AC:

SK: Marriage ... it’s a kind of victory, for men, to get a pretty and charming wife. It’s like a game to them. They get married and the game is over, and they’ve won, and you’re the prize. But what are they to you?

AC: And she thinks it’ll be like that for her?

SK: I think she’d rather be an artist than a wife.

-

“What I’m going to do,” Nessa said, nearly snarling as they rounded the corner of the track, “is murder him.”

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